Twenty Seven Years in the Matrimonial Swim!

Twenty seven years ago today, Mark and I jumped into the matrimonial swim and tied the knot! This was after a ten year courtship. Ten years. Plus twenty seven years of marriage. Wow! It has been a wonderful journey full of love, learning and adventure. Our wedding invitation/book best sums up our story leading to this momentous day. It was entitled, "At Last."

From 1974 ---

AT LAST!

Their first date was pleasant and over the years,
they socialized for quite awhile
When it was convenient and easy to do.
Now this was their usual style.

Meg had her music and schooling for law
and Mark had a goal in his mind
To be an M.D., so off to that end-
Toward marriage they seemed disinclined.

There were letters, phone calls, trips and the like-
Non-committal and friendly and great.
But nothing too binding to satisfy both
who wanted a more solid state.

On birthdays or Christmas or Easter or such
Their families and friends all would fret.
And ask Meg in hope, "Did he give you a ring?"
She'd smilingly say, "No, not yet."

But this year at Christmas the ring did appear
And her eyes shone in joy unsurpassed.
The wishing is over - the wedding is near
and the families and friends sigh, "At Last."

To 1984 ---

Thursday, June 21, 1984 was a warm, sunny, beautiful day. We met family and friends at the Salt Lake Temple for our afternoon marriage and sealing.

Yes, there were the funny things that happened that day, like Mark forgetting his tuxedo, being locked out of his house, and finally getting a neighbor with a key to let him in to get it; and me waiting for Mark in the temple for forty-five minutes after the sealing only to realize that I was waiting in the wrong place. Our guests patiently waited for us at the wedding dinner wondering where we were. Hmmmm.

But there were also very serious, wonderful things that happened that day as well.

Wayne M. Beck officiated and gave us some great advice. He spoke of our purpose on earth and the eternal plan of the family. He spoke of the significance of having three witnesses at our ceremony. He related a passage from I John 5:7-8, where John the beloved said, "For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word and the Holy Ghost; and these three are one. And there are three that bear witness in earth, the Spirit, and the water and the blood; and these three agree in one." Brother Beck then went on to explain that these three witnesses are present at crucial times in our earthly existence; namely birth, baptism, marriage and death.

Moses 6:59 states: "That by reason of transgression cometh the fall, which fall bringeth death, and inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so become of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten; that ye might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory."

He encouraged us to be loving, kind and considerate of each other and to live our lives in harmony and balance with the Lord's teachings.

Over the years I have saved various pieces of marital advice with attempts to assimilate them into my life. Here are a few I have gleaned:

Always be yourself. You are one-of-a-kind and attempts to imitate someone else will only dilute you.

Always do your best, not for show or to please someone else, but simply because to do less weakens character.

Accept that you are not perfect and don't fret over mistakes. Just try not to repeat the same ones twice. I'm sure that if you live life with zest, there will always be plenty of new mistakes to be discovered.

Take risks. If you fall down, get up and don't be afraid of falling down again. Only those who do nothing never fall.

Don't take things personally. People are usually too self-centered to slight others intentionally. And even if they do it purposely, the only important thing is how you feel about yourself.

Laugh a lot, particularly at yourself. Others then can't laugh at you but only with you.

Don't be afraid of crying. Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes it hurts so bad you don't think you can go on - but you do. And tears really do help wash away the sorrows.

Then again, sometimes life is so joyful you actually do shed tears of happiness.

Love a lot and not just your new husband. Love friends, love nature, love beauty, love learning, love waking up in the morning, and find work and a worthy cause you can love. Pat Bean, Standard Examiner, 29 June 2002

Zeda Haws had her own Ten Commandments for a Good Marriage:
1. Thou shalt love each other unconditionally.
2. Thou shalt be dedicated to your union and there shall be no secrets.
3. Thou shalt handle money wisely, live within your means, and plan your expenditures together.
4. Thou shalt not over indulge, but do all things in moderation.
5. Thou shalt develop a social life together, but value each of your individual needs.
6. Thou shalt be forgiving and hold no grudges.
7. Thou shalt look at adversity as an opportunity for later laughter and immediate growth.
8. Thou shalt be prepared to give more than you get.
9. Thou shalt be expected, together, to give service and support to your community.
10.Thou shalt raise your children together with love and commitment for they are your immortality.

June is a wonderful month for weddings, especially the 21st which is the first day of summer, the summer solstice, and the longest day of the year. Having attended several weddings this month, I rejoice in the happiness and joy for the new brides and grooms. But along with my smiles comes a long, reflective sigh. I really relate to the words of a poem entitled, The Wedding Reception by Martha P. Taysom:

I've reprinted the words with a few (inserts) of my own.

I sit and watch her.
My pastel punch and thick-iced cake
(On delicate plate)
Balance awkwardly on my knee.

I think of me 12 (or twenty-seven) years before.

Her smile beams
First on this reception guest,
Then that.
Sometimes blushing,
Sometimes laughing,
Always turning
Eyes of admiration to the handsome groom.

Should I tell her?
Tell her of face-downed peanut-buttered bread
On new-mopped floor?
Of a two-year-old stretched out
and kicking angrily
In the grocery store
(And everybody watching)?

Can I tell her
Tell her of the almost-can't cope days?
The lonely evenings
Waiting for bishopric meeting (surgeries)
To end?

Will I tell her?
Tell her of the terrifying cry
Of croup
Deep in night?
Or the quickened step
Of the home teacher
Summoned to help administer
To a feverish brow?
(Or the loss of a child?)

No.
But neither can I share with her
The thrill of a newborn's nose
Bobbing in my neck;
The pride of seeing a six-year-old
Begin to read.

I cannot tell her
Of a husband's gentle touch
On my hand
As we pass briefly
In the chapel foyer.

So,
Standing, I brush away the crumbs
From my not-so-new dress,
Smile,
And wave a little
To the bride
Across the room.
Ensign, April 2005

I could have never planned, designed or dreamed the things I have experienced in our marriage. It has shaped us into who we are --and we happily choose to continue the swim together!

As Mark and I drove south along Harrison Boulevard to embark upon our honeymoon we couldn't help but laugh when we saw the United Savings Bank marquee (now the Flying J Headquarters)flashing in bright neon lights, "To Mark and Meg,
AT LAST."

Thank you, Mark. Thank you for being a wonderful husband and father. I love you. You have enriched my life and made me happy. You are my best friend and confidante. I look forward to celebrating our anniversary today and June 21st for many, many years!