A Little Bit of First Things First

Here is the talk I gave in church today.

YSA 18th Ward Sacrament Talk
January 15, 2012
Meg Naisbitt

January is the time when we begin a new year. I rejoice at the beginning of a new year. I love the idea of being able to remodel my life – to tear out and haul away things that didn’t work and to build and beautify the things that worked. For years, I have kept a journal and have always tried to include an entry around the 1st of the year to list the things that I accomplished and then to make my resolutions for the New Year. In preparing this talk, I took some time to review many years of resolutions. I was quite amazed to see how many of the resolutions repeated themselves, but also to see a common thread about being less busy and making time for things that matter most.

I have been asked to speak on gospel oriented goals and Christ centered resolutions. To me, this means putting first things first. As Steven R. Covey states, “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”

This ward is for young single adults, ages 18 to 30. This time of your life is probably the most critical, crucial time for making good decisions - decisions about jobs, careers, education, friends, dates, marriage, and what you are going to be and do when you grow up.

These factors all present increased demands on your time and abilities. There may be the temptation to devote all of your time and talents to success in school or a job while putting church and other obligations “temporarily” on the back burner. Some may rationalize and say, “Don’t make such a big deal out of this. It’s not like I’m going to leave the church or something. I know it’s true. I just need to focus on my schooling or job for a limited period of time, and if I do, it will be a set up for me and my future family for the rest of our lives.” What is wrong with that?

It entails the idea that there is something unique or unusual about that demands of school or a job that justifies relaxing our covenants with the Lord during that time. You are not seeking permanent inactivity from serving the Lord, but just a brief sabbatical. The fundamental premise is that this is a once-in-a lifetime challenge that you won’t have to face again in the future.

That premise is false.

The temptation to put the church on the back burner to study or work is no different than the temptation to do so when you start a small business, gain a promotion, or try to hold on to your job during a recession. If you give in to these temptations this time, it will only be more difficult to resist the next time around.

When I was 19, I spent a year in Japan living with a Japanese family and teaching English at a private Buddhist University. The very first day I was there, my Japanese mother invited four or five friends over to welcome me and to perform a traditional Japanese tea ceremony. All of them wore beautiful silk kimonos and spent about 20 or 30 minutes performing this cultural tea ceremony where they presented me with a bowl of tea. This was my very first encounter with my Japanese mom and I knew that one of the worst things one could do in the Japanese culture is to embarrass an elderly person in front of her peers. Knowing very little Japanese there was no way I could explain the Word of Wisdom to the women graciously.

I felt this huge amount of pressure trying to figure out what I was going to do. If I just accepted the bowl and pretended to sip a little of the tea, I wouldn’t embarrass anyone and I wouldn’t be breaking the Word of Wisdom, but on the other hand, I wouldn’t be doing myself justice in the future because they wouldn’t know my stance or beliefs.

Upon handing me the bowl and I said, “Domo arigato gosaimasu” or “thank you very much”. I then I shook my head and said, “Watashi wa Morumon desu” (I am a Mormon), and as graciously as I could, I handed the bowl back to them. I knew if I gave in, it would only be more difficult to explain the next time around. The next day, my Japanese professor in charge of the program explained to the mom that I was a Mormon and that Mormons had a code against drinking coffee, tea and alcoholic drinks.

The Lord searches for those who will serve him no matter what the situation. I tell this story to show that in your lives there will be instances where the pressure to make exceptions to your gospel commitments can be very great. Those who establish their response to such pressures will find themselves better able to withstand pressures later. This is a way that we make gospel oriented goals and Christ like resolutions.

A scripture in 2 Nephi 28:30 states, “For behold, thus saith the Lord God; I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom, for unto him that receiveth I will give more; …”

I was so touched Brandon’s testimony last week when he spoke of his experiences in ringing a bell for the Salvation Army at Christmastime. My awareness was increased as I heard him talk about standing in the cold, day after day, and the kindnesses extended to him from true Christians – some who brought meals, hot chocolate, and warm clothing like the pair of gloves on the cold day when he forgot his.

These little kindnesses make a world of difference in people’s lives. I read an article last week that said, “If you want to accomplish great things in this new year, think small! Toss out the grandiose ideas and goals, and think about making improvements on a smaller scale. Thinking small, when it comes to setting goals for ourselves, will quickly replace the feeling of looming failure that often accompanies big goal setting, with the attitude, “I can do this!”

So many things in our lives are determined by small, little decisions that we make each day. Those small decisions actually have the ability to point each of us in a total different direction long term. Jim Rohn, (a successful businessman, author and speaker from Idaho) said, “You don’t have to change that much for it to make a great deal of difference. A few simple disciplines can have a major impact on how your life works out in the next 90 days, let alone in the next 12 months or the next three years.” In Doctine and Covenants, 64:33 it states,

And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.”

The prophet Nephi said in 1 Nephi 16:29, “…And thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things.” These little small and simple changes are more affective in producing a lasting transformation in behavior.

When my husband was about nine, he played Little League on his big brother’s team. Everyone was two years older than he was. They would always put him at the very end to bat because he wasn’t very good. One time, it was the ninth inning with two outs, score tied, bases loaded and it was Mark’s turn at bat.

Everyone on the team kind of cringed, thinking that he would lose the game for them. Mark said that his coach came up to him and whispered, “Just hit it a little bit, that’s all you need to do. Just a little bit.” All of a sudden, Mark felt this encouraging surge of power. The pitcher threw the ball. Mark concentrated so hard just to hit a little bit that he felt like the whole ball was in slow motion. He swung and hit the ball, --- just a little bit. It dribbled past the catcher and the short stop fumbled it. It was just enough to get him on base and a runner in. To this day, Mark will tell you that that advise was a tipping point for him. It was so impressionable, that today, his email address is litbit@comcast.net.

So as we start this New Year, let’s maybe think small about making some lasting changes in our lives. Whether we want to lose weight, read our scriptures,

daily prayer or service. 100 calories less a day is something doable. “And five minutes of daily scripture study is better than nothing, and allows us to receive of Heavenly Father’s blessings for keeping his commandments to read the scriptures daily.” Make a little difference in someone’s life by smiling at them, or saying a kind word to the grocery store clerk or giving some hot chocolate to the Salvation Army bell ringer can make an impressionable difference.

One time Chase was out mowing the lawn and he ran into a rose bush and broke off a branch.

Soon there were beautiful roses in a little vase of water that he put on the counter. I thought he was so thoughtful and it made my day. I had no idea that he was salvaging the rose bush that he broke. Another time I was out of town. When I came home, my kids had left some dried flowers in a paper wrap like a snow cone cup on my pillow. They wrote on a little piece of paper, “We missed you.” It melted my heart. Those little things make a big difference.

It is my prayer that we all strive to make some gospel centered goals and some Christ like resolutions this year. In closing, I would like to bear my testimony of Jesus Christ. He lives. He knows each of us. He loves us and he is our Savior and Redeemer. He is our advocate with the father and gave His life to atone for the sins of all mankind. As we renew our covenants and partake of the Sacrament each week, it is my hope that we will seek to put first things first and to always remember Him.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I Love Ogden

I have spent the better part of my life in Ogden. I love Ogden. I love the diversity of Ogden. I love the people in Ogden. I love the beauty of Ogden. And today, especially today, I love the kindness and love shown when one of our own OPD officers was senselessly snuffed out.

I didn't know Officer Francom. I never met him, never saw him and never talked with him. But I went to his funeral. And I cried. In fact, I cried at 8 a.m. this morning as I drove home from my Crossfit class at the Ogden Athletic Club and saw just a portion of the 5000 flags that lined Harrison Boulevard. Yes, 5000 beautiful American flags gently swaying in the breeze. 5000 flags put up by people who care, symbolizing love and solidarity for a fallen officer.

At 10:00 a.m., I had a meeting in the Weber County Commission chambers. I altered my normal driving pattern on the back roads just to follow the flags along Harrison Blvd., down 30th St. and then north on Washington Blvd. What a beautiful sight. Big blue ribbons were tied around the pillars of the Market Star building, around doors, on lampposts, and what not. After my meeting, I walked by the County Attorney's office and observed a green sign stating, "Office closed till 3:00 p.m." It was such an appropriate thing to allow them the opportunity to attend the funeral. And such was the case with Ogden City and its employees.

Being so overwhelmed with gratitude and sorrow, I decided to attend the funeral. These situations are rare and special and I was glad to have some free time. I drove to the Dee Events center and parked next to a Logan police car. My parking spot wasn't unique. I could have parked by any number of police cars for the whole parking lot was filled with police motorcycles and cars from jurisdictions far and wide. Upon entering the building, it was overwhelming to see hundreds and hundreds of uniformed officers filling seats in every section. I have never seen a sight quite like that.

The funeral was lovely. The speakers and beautiful music did Officer Francom justice. We all enjoyed an inside view about Jared, his passions, his family, and his desires. He was a very caring person who wanted to help. That love and desire spilled on to so many people who surrounded him.

Following the funeral, police officers lined the hallways paying their respects to the family and for one of their own. Their cars and motorcycles filled the streets all the way to the Ogden City Cemetery as did the flags and bystanders waving flags in their hands. It made my heart proud to see so much love, care and concern expressed by a community trying to ease the pain for a little family now fatherless and for those officers who put their life on the lines to protect our freedoms.

All I can say is I love you, Ogden. I am so sorry for what happened, but I am proud to be an Ogdenite. I send my love to the Francom family and the other officers involved. Thank you for your service.

Not So Bigness

In my early married years, I was fanatical about the house. Every night after I put our little ones to bed, I spent the next hour or so putting every toy, shoe, sock, book, paper, or whatever back into its "proper" place. The kitchen garbage went out to the dumpster (partially because we lived in New Jersey where cockroaches came out of the woodwork when darkness descended), the dishes were re stacked on the shelves, the floor was swept, and clean laundry was folded and placed in the drawers.

I made up bottles of formula, restocked diapers, and prepared every needful thing to ease the onslaught of surviving a new day. Any remaining time which was very little was spent reading or doing needlework before hitting the sack with total exhaustion. A clean house gave me a sense of control and established some structure over my otherwise hectic, chaotic life with newbie twins, a two year old, and a husband in a stressful, demanding residency program. I longed for the day of having a minute of leisure time to pursue a hobby, to chew the fat, or enjoy some peace and serenity in life.

Those years are long gone and I now have the luxury of deciding what to do with my time. I no longer have the urge or desire to straighten my house each night or run the garbage out except when it overflows. I miss reading stories to my kids and watching them discover the magic ball of a potato bug.

I miss sitting on the steps of the front porch for hours on end while they played outside.

I miss watching them drag their little plastic three wheelers up the hill then racing down as fast as possible, squealing with delight over and over again. But I don't miss the hectic pace that life delivered each day.

As each New Year approaches, I like to evaluate things from the prior year to determine what worked or didn't work and what I would like to change or accomplish. Last year was not a stellar year. I feel it was more a year of existing or rebuilding things to their status quo rather than creating. Much of it was spent on things I really didn't want to do. The non essentials or things that are supposed to enhance and enrich life life overtook the essentials, or those things I feel provide the basic structure and foundation to keep me balanced and centered.

For example, in January, 78,000 gallons of water burst through our second home in Brian Head. We thought all was under control until April when the insurance company sent up some water mitigation folks to make a final inspection before closing the file. That was when all *&%$#* broke loose. Upon measuring a high water content throughout the house, they tore up hardwood floors, sheet rock, insulation, cabinets, toilets, etc. Our house was in shambles. It took months and many weekends to put it back together. Way too many weekends. And way too much worry. This is a place that was meant to provide relaxation and serenity to life.

Last fall, after spending hours and days blowing leaves, mulching, sweeping and cleaning the yard, the hellacious December windstorm struck with 102 mph winds. We lost huge trees, bushes, and electricity. Our yard was strewn with branches and leaves resulting in six truckloads of stuff collected and hauled off to the green station. The newly installed soffit and fascia blew off our home along with shingles on the roof of an apartment building we own. Waaa, waaa, waaa.

If nothing else, it reinforces the fact that we cannot always control external situations. These things happen. But what I realize, is that many of the things I can control such as clubs, boards, concerts, galas, external obligations, subscription series, etc. were so jam packed in my year that I had little flexibility to spend time elsewhere.

With that in mind, I have decided to remodel my life and clean out much of the clutter. I desire to spend more time being present with Mark, to be perhaps a bit more free for spontaneity, and to be available to serve or help where needed. I like the "Not So Big Life" concept to make room for what really matters. Can I really do it?

Quote:
“There is one thing in this world that you must never forget to do. If you forget everything else and not this, there’s nothing to worry about, but if you remember everything else, and forget this, then you will have done nothing in your life.

It’s as if a king has sent you to some country to do a task, and you perform a hundred other services, but not the one he sent you to do. So human beings come to this world to do particular work. That work is the purpose, and each is specific to the person. If you don’t do it, it’s as though a priceless Indian sword were used to slice rotten meat. It’s a golden bowl being used to cook turnips, when one filing from the bowl could buy a hundred suitable pots. It’s a knife of the finest tempering nailed into a wall to hang things on.

You say, “But look, I’m using the dagger. It’s not lying idle.”

Do you hear how ludicrous that sounds? For a penny, an iron nail could be bought to serve the purpose. You say, “But I spend my energies on lofty enterprises. I study jurisprudence and philosophy and logic and astronomy and medicine and all the rest.” But consider why you do those things. They are all branches of yourself.

Remember the deep root of your being, the presence of your lord. Give your life to the one who already owns your breath and your moments. If you don’t, you will be exactly like the man who takes a precious dagger and hammers it into his kitchen wall for a peg to hold his dipper gourd. You’ll be wasting valuable keenness and foolishly ignoring your dignity and your purpose.”-Rumi

This whole concept of not so big may sound ironic as we prepare to leave in April
for base camp of Mt. Everest, the biggest, most majestic mountain in the world. But in one sense, I have had to clear my life to do something I have always wanted to experience, something that matters to me. I am gently reminded that Mark and I are not getting any younger, so if we don't make arrangements and prepare now, when will we ever do it?

I guess it boils down to taking a look at my life, deciding what I want to do, what I want to accomplish, how I want to do that, and pruning those things that detract. I look forward to a new year and the opportunity of making it meaningful. I have begun my life's remodel. Let's see how it goes!

Getting Inside of Christmas

The Christmas season is upon us! The decorations are up, the music is on, the parties have begun, and the spirit of Christmas is present. But what special moment will make this Christmas one to remember?

"The outside of Christmas is visible. You can see it. It is there in Christmas trees, in holly, in toys, in gay store windows, in gifts wrapped in bright paper. The outside of Christmas can be heard. In chimes, in carols, in organ music, in the voices of the choir, in sleigh bells. The outside of Christmas can be tasted - there's the turkey and cranberry sauce, the pumpkin pie and candy.

In the hurry and scurry of the Christmas season, most of us limit our contact to the outside of Christmas. We are so busy that we do not have time to get inside Christmas, so Christmas becomes for most of us a surface experience. To discover the true riches of the Christmas season we must penetrate beneath the surface; we must get inside of Christmas. Christmas will get inside of us and we will have a truly mystical experience.

No one knows how to go about exploring the inside of Christmas. Each of us must go adventuring to find the inside of Christmas in his own way. One thing is certain and that is that we must get away from the turmoil and the crowds and the outward excitement that are so much a part of the outside of Christmas. We must get away from the visible and journey into the invisible.

We must quiet the mind. We must seek the inside of Christmas in the silence; we must look for it in our deeper selves. We may go alone into a cathedral or chapel late at night to meditate. We may sit alone by the fire in our homes after all the others have retired and open ourselves to the inflow of good will and joy and peace. We may take a long walk under the stars, or through the softly falling snow. We may sit by the bedside of a sleeping little one and think about the miracle of childhood.

When we take the time to seek and find the inside of Christmas, the Christmas spirit will glow with a new radiance within our hearts." Winferd A. Peterson, Ideals Magazine, Christmas Issue; Vol. 15, No. 4, October 1958, Ideals Publishing Co.

I recall many quiet inside moments of Christmas over the years. In 1977, I found myself celebrating Christmas by myself for the first time in my life. I was a foreign student living with a Japanese family in the small town of Iwamizawa. On Christmas eve, I left the house alone after dark and began walking on the snow packed streets on a quiet, peaceful beautiful night with stars twinkling in the sky. I pondered many things and reflected upon the first Christmas night. It gave me a chance to think about my family and those things on the inside that make Christmas so special.

I recall another busy, hectic day about a week before Christmas when I was overwhelmed with Christmas chore minutia. I left home on a snowy, cold evening to begin my last whirlwind shopping binge when suddenly the power went out across the city. With the stores closed, I returned home, flipped the switch on the fireplace in my bedroom, lay down on the floor and stared into the beautiful flickering flame. I took a big breath and sighed. My world slowed to a beautiful halt. I enjoyed a calm, meaningful evening in the dark, still silence.

As a friend so poignantly stated, Christmas is a time of letting in. The malls and shopping centers let us in early and welcome us to stay late. Two thousand years ago, a young family found themselves in the cold because no one would let them in.

This Christmas I plan to take those few special moments to let in or get inside of Christmas. It helps me to align my perspective with gratitude and humbleness and to be my better self. I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas season both inside and out. . . "and as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!"

Why I Love Music

Saturday, two weeks ago, was a very fun music day. First, I accompanied for Kids Are Music children's choir at the Newgate Mall as they ushered in Santa who received keys to open the new Peppermint Depot.

An hour later, I accompanied Kevin Shumway, a cellist with the Utah Symphony at a Youth Guild luncheon. He performed several numbers and spoke to 50 plus teens about his love of music. I agree with so many things that he said. Any kind of music that moves you or makes you happy inside is good. Music has the ability to take you to a different place, out of the world, out of the daily grind. It releases your mind and perhaps gets you thinking about many other things. These things could be nostalgic, energizing, pleasant, suspicious,wondering,inspiring, irritating, etc.

Much of my life has been immersed in music. My mom spent hours with me on the piano bench, encouraging me to develop a talent and to find the joy that music can bring to the soul.

When I was about sixteen, I heard my second cousin, Ann Christensen play the piano while visiting my grandma. She had recently won the Utah State Fair piano competition, soloed with Salute to Youth, and won a piano competition in Texas. I was blown away with her playing. After hearing her, I developed an insatiable appetite to get serious about the piano. After taking piano lessons for much of my life with great teachers such as Frederick Dixon and Carol Hurst, I began lessons with Anne's teacher, Gladys Gladstone, and had an incredible journey over the next few years.

Gladys insisted on absolute perfection in playing anything, be it Bach preludes and fugues, Beethoven sonatas, or Chopin scherzos. She was able to pull incredible emotions somewhere from deep inside to make the music come alive. Beyond technique, she emphasized the importance of mental focus and total concentration. She taught me to sculpt various passages like a strand of pearls, from small to large and back. She insisted on practice with a metronome to strike every note in a run with exact precision. She had me paint pictures in my mind to create the proper mood and setting of each piece. Her wonderful teaching guided me to experience the thrill of soloing with a symphony and the great satisfaction of creating beautiful music on stage with wonderful orchestras including the Utah Symphony, the Great American Symphony, Utah Youth Symphony and the University of Utah Chamber Orchestra.

Many benefits have spilled over into my life from studying a musical instrument. Things such as staying focused and pursuing perfection, or at least striving for excellence. Practice does not make perfect, but rather PERFECT practice makes perfect.

Good, better, best
Never let it rest
'Til your good is better
And your better is best! - Unknown

Music lessons taught me the importance of consistency - practicing daily even when it wasn't convenient. And knowing a piece so well that you could play it at any time, be it 5:30 a.m. or 8 p.m. at night. It is important to set a standard for yourself and keep that standard. Hacking through something on a public stage does not promote self confidence or self esteem. But being well prepared and performing to the best of your abilities does. There is great joy in working hard at something, mastering it and overcoming fears with dogged persistence. You can trick your mind into believing in yourself. Sometimes I was very scared or nervous to play or speak before an audience. But a wise mother told me that, "audiences really inspire you." I took that to heart and learned to overcome fear by changing my attitude and mind set.

Music allows me to enter a realm that expands my mind and emotions. I can enter a very happy place that is indescribable. One time, Jordon Tang, a doctoral student at the U. of U., asked me to play the piano part of Aaron Copeland's Appalachian Spring with a chamber orchestra. I fell in love with that piece and introduced it to my children. One of my greatest mother moments was when Chase was listening to this piece while showering and he burst out of the bathroom door screaming, "I LOVE that music!" He, too, discovered the great secret of Appalachian Spring!

Suffice it to say that music has brought great joy and happiness into my life. I feel very blessed to have many music opportunities. I love watching and listening to the Utah Symphony. What a spectacle to see fifty plus musicians playing their instruments in sync on the same beat with the conductor, using incredible technique, precision, and passion. They magically transform black and white notes on a page to beautiful music. Wow. That is amazing! Really! Or hearing fifty five kids in Choral Edition focusing on Janette Bischoff's masterful directing in creating beautiful sound, or eighty kids in Kids Are Music. Or watching a bit of joy or even tears of nostalgia on the faces of the elderly as the Heartbeats perform Christmas music, evoking memories of a bygone era.

It is so true that, "Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." William Congreve (This really is the quote, not "beast" as is often misquoted). It is a powerful source for both good and bad. But when used to edify, it is inspirational, pleasurable and lovely!

Good music and great harmonies. What could be better! Did I mention that before? I am excited for this Christmas season and the beautiful music that accompanies it. The accessibility of music favorites on iTunes,iPods, iPads, Pandora, CD's, tapes, records, and the radio is astounding. In fact, right now I am going to listen to Pandora over my TV system while I clean my house. And it will make me happy!

And by the way, does anyone have extra tickets to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert this year? I would be so obliged! And happy, to say the least!

RIP, ReNon.

This morning as I, along with many others prepare to attend ReNon Zabriskie's funeral, I can't help but say, "Thanks, ReNon, for being such a beautiful, helpful, wonderful person." ReNon was the kind of person who uplifted all those around her. She was helpful, thoughtful, service-oriented, capable, spiritual, delightful and wonderful. When the Weber Heights Stake and Ogden East Stake were divided some seven years ago, she was one of the very first people who introduced herself to me. We worked together on Youth Extravaganzas, The Messiah, Ogden High School musicals, etc. When working with various committees to set something up, inevitably ReNon's name would pop up as the person to call.

Last night at her viewing, I wrote down a few quotes from the display tables that portrayed her life. They express my sentiments as well.

"When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure."

"Every time that a child is born, so is a grandmother."

Cancer is so limited.
It cannot destroy love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot destroy people.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot suppress memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot steal eternal life.
It cannot conquer the Spirit.

As I prepare to say farewell to ReNon, I hope she knows what a bright light she was in my life. I send my condolences and love to the family. And ReNon, may you rest in peace.

Desert Star Playhouse

Tucked away on Main Street in Murray is the delightful Desert Star Playhouse, complete with a fabulous melodrama piano player. I enjoyed a wonderful evening full of laughter and fun while dining and watching, "Hunk-cules" who really acted as though he was too sexy for his toga. I must say that I would love to play the piano for their productions! What a hoot.

This year's productions included:
Back from the Future (What happens in 1985 stays in 1985)
Beverly Hillbillies 90210 (You might be a redneck if ...)
Sheer-Luck Homes (Clueless again)
Goldilocks Capone and the 3 Amigos
Hunk-cules (I'm too sexy for my toga) ...through Sept 24
Legally Brunette (Not all dumbs are blonde) ...Sept. 29-Nov. 12
It's a Wonderful Life (Winging in the holidays) ...Nov. 17-Dec. 31

And next year's productions will include:
CSI:Provo (Decaffeinated DNA)
The Princess Brides Maid
The Addams Family Home Evening
Wicked - er!
My Big Fat Utah Christmas (a new holiday comedy)

Trust me - I don't work for Desert Star (yet) and I am not being paid for this promotion. I simply had a very fun, entertaining evening laughing and smiling while watching their production. Yes, I will be back! General sales for season tickets open September 13. Box Office hours are Monday through Saturday, 10am - 9pm, 4861 S State Street, Murray, Utah 84107, 801-266-2600 or go to www. DesertStar.biz.