Slickypot

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I Love Ogden


I have spent the better part of my life in Ogden. I love Ogden. I love the diversity of Ogden. I love the people in Ogden. I love the beauty of Ogden. And today, especially today, I love the kindness and love shown when one of our own OPD officers was senselessly snuffed out.

I didn't know Officer Francom. I never met him, never saw him and never talked with him. But I went to his funeral. And I cried. In fact, I cried at 8 a.m. this morning as I drove home from my Crossfit class at the Ogden Athletic Club and saw just a portion of the 5000 flags that lined Harrison Boulevard. Yes, 5000 beautiful American flags gently swaying in the breeze. 5000 flags put up by people who care, symbolizing love and solidarity for a fallen officer.

At 10:00 a.m., I had a meeting in the Weber County Commission chambers. I altered my normal driving pattern on the back roads just to follow the flags along Harrison Blvd., down 30th St. and then north on Washington Blvd. What a beautiful sight. Big blue ribbons were tied around the pillars of the Market Star building, around doors, on lampposts, and what not. After my meeting, I walked by the County Attorney's office and observed a green sign stating, "Office closed till 3:00 p.m." It was such an appropriate thing to allow them the opportunity to attend the funeral. And such was the case with Ogden City and its employees.

Being so overwhelmed with gratitude and sorrow, I decided to attend the funeral. These situations are rare and special and I was glad to have some free time. I drove to the Dee Events center and parked next to a Logan police car. My parking spot wasn't unique. I could have parked by any number of police cars for the whole parking lot was filled with police motorcycles and cars from jurisdictions far and wide. Upon entering the building, it was overwhelming to see hundreds and hundreds of uniformed officers filling seats in every section. I have never seen a sight quite like that.

The funeral was lovely. The speakers and beautiful music did Officer Francom justice. We all enjoyed an inside view about Jared, his passions, his family, and his desires. He was a very caring person who wanted to help. That love and desire spilled on to so many people who surrounded him.

Following the funeral, police officers lined the hallways paying their respects to the family and for one of their own. Their cars and motorcycles filled the streets all the way to the Ogden City Cemetery as did the flags and bystanders waving flags in their hands. It made my heart proud to see so much love, care and concern expressed by a community trying to ease the pain for a little family now fatherless and for those officers who put their life on the lines to protect our freedoms.

All I can say is I love you, Ogden. I am so sorry for what happened, but I am proud to be an Ogdenite. I send my love to the Francom family and the other officers involved. Thank you for your service.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Not So Bigness


In my early married years, I was fanatical about the house. Every night after I put our little ones to bed, I spent the next hour or so putting every toy, shoe, sock, book, paper, or whatever back into its "proper" place. The kitchen garbage went out to the dumpster (partially because we lived in New Jersey where cockroaches came out of the woodwork when darkness descended), the dishes were re stacked on the shelves, the floor was swept, and clean laundry was folded and placed in the drawers.

I made up bottles of formula, restocked diapers, and prepared every needful thing to ease the onslaught of surviving a new day. Any remaining time which was very little was spent reading or doing needlework before hitting the sack with total exhaustion. A clean house gave me a sense of control and established some structure over my otherwise hectic, chaotic life with newbie twins, a two year old, and a husband in a stressful, demanding residency program. I longed for the day of having a minute of leisure time to pursue a hobby, to chew the fat, or enjoy some peace and serenity in life.

Those years are long gone and I now have the luxury of deciding what to do with my time. I no longer have the urge or desire to straighten my house each night or run the garbage out except when it overflows. I miss reading stories to my kids and watching them discover the magic ball of a potato bug.


I miss sitting on the steps of the front porch for hours on end while they played outside.

I miss watching them drag their little plastic three wheelers up the hill then racing down as fast as possible, squealing with delight over and over again. But I don't miss the hectic pace that life delivered each day.

As each New Year approaches, I like to evaluate things from the prior year to determine what worked or didn't work and what I would like to change or accomplish. Last year was not a stellar year. I feel it was more a year of existing or rebuilding things to their status quo rather than creating. Much of it was spent on things I really didn't want to do. The non essentials or things that are supposed to enhance and enrich life life overtook the essentials, or those things I feel provide the basic structure and foundation to keep me balanced and centered.


For example, in January, 78,000 gallons of water burst through our second home in Brian Head. We thought all was under control until April when the insurance company sent up some water mitigation folks to make a final inspection before closing the file. That was when all *&%$#* broke loose. Upon measuring a high water content throughout the house, they tore up hardwood floors, sheet rock, insulation, cabinets, toilets, etc. Our house was in shambles. It took months and many weekends to put it back together. Way too many weekends. And way too much worry. This is a place that was meant to provide relaxation and serenity to life.

Last fall, after spending hours and days blowing leaves, mulching, sweeping and cleaning the yard, the hellacious December windstorm struck with 102 mph winds. We lost huge trees, bushes, and electricity. Our yard was strewn with branches and leaves resulting in six truckloads of stuff collected and hauled off to the green station. The newly installed soffit and fascia blew off our home along with shingles on the roof of an apartment building we own. Waaa, waaa, waaa.


If nothing else, it reinforces the fact that we cannot always control external situations. These things happen. But what I realize, is that many of the things I can control such as clubs, boards, concerts, galas, external obligations, subscription series, etc. were so jam packed in my year that I had little flexibility to spend time elsewhere.

With that in mind, I have decided to remodel my life and clean out much of the clutter. I desire to spend more time being present with Mark, to be perhaps a bit more free for spontaneity, and to be available to serve or help where needed. I like the "Not So Big Life" concept to make room for what really matters. Can I really do it?

Quote:
“There is one thing in this world that you must never forget to do. If you forget everything else and not this, there’s nothing to worry about, but if you remember everything else, and forget this, then you will have done nothing in your life.

It’s as if a king has sent you to some country to do a task, and you perform a hundred other services, but not the one he sent you to do. So human beings come to this world to do particular work. That work is the purpose, and each is specific to the person. If you don’t do it, it’s as though a priceless Indian sword were used to slice rotten meat. It’s a golden bowl being used to cook turnips, when one filing from the bowl could buy a hundred suitable pots. It’s a knife of the finest tempering nailed into a wall to hang things on.

You say, “But look, I’m using the dagger. It’s not lying idle.”

Do you hear how ludicrous that sounds? For a penny, an iron nail could be bought to serve the purpose. You say, “But I spend my energies on lofty enterprises. I study jurisprudence and philosophy and logic and astronomy and medicine and all the rest.” But consider why you do those things. They are all branches of yourself.


Remember the deep root of your being, the presence of your lord. Give your life to the one who already owns your breath and your moments. If you don’t, you will be exactly like the man who takes a precious dagger and hammers it into his kitchen wall for a peg to hold his dipper gourd. You’ll be wasting valuable keenness and foolishly ignoring your dignity and your purpose.”-Rumi


This whole concept of not so big may sound ironic as we prepare to leave in April
for base camp of Mt. Everest, the biggest, most majestic mountain in the world. But in one sense, I have had to clear my life to do something I have always wanted to experience, something that matters to me. I am gently reminded that Mark and I are not getting any younger, so if we don't make arrangements and prepare now, when will we ever do it?

I guess it boils down to taking a look at my life, deciding what I want to do, what I want to accomplish, how I want to do that, and pruning those things that detract. I look forward to a new year and the opportunity of making it meaningful. I have begun my life's remodel. Let's see how it goes!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Getting Inside of Christmas


The Christmas season is upon us! The decorations are up, the music is on, the parties have begun, and the spirit of Christmas is present. But what special moment will make this Christmas one to remember?

"The outside of Christmas is visible. You can see it. It is there in Christmas trees, in holly, in toys, in gay store windows, in gifts wrapped in bright paper. The outside of Christmas can be heard. In chimes, in carols, in organ music, in the voices of the choir, in sleigh bells. The outside of Christmas can be tasted - there's the turkey and cranberry sauce, the pumpkin pie and candy.

In the hurry and scurry of the Christmas season, most of us limit our contact to the outside of Christmas. We are so busy that we do not have time to get inside Christmas, so Christmas becomes for most of us a surface experience. To discover the true riches of the Christmas season we must penetrate beneath the surface; we must get inside of Christmas. Christmas will get inside of us and we will have a truly mystical experience.

No one knows how to go about exploring the inside of Christmas. Each of us must go adventuring to find the inside of Christmas in his own way. One thing is certain and that is that we must get away from the turmoil and the crowds and the outward excitement that are so much a part of the outside of Christmas. We must get away from the visible and journey into the invisible.

We must quiet the mind. We must seek the inside of Christmas in the silence; we must look for it in our deeper selves. We may go alone into a cathedral or chapel late at night to meditate. We may sit alone by the fire in our homes after all the others have retired and open ourselves to the inflow of good will and joy and peace. We may take a long walk under the stars, or through the softly falling snow. We may sit by the bedside of a sleeping little one and think about the miracle of childhood.

When we take the time to seek and find the inside of Christmas, the Christmas spirit will glow with a new radiance within our hearts."
Winferd A. Peterson, Ideals Magazine, Christmas Issue; Vol. 15, No. 4, October 1958, Ideals Publishing Co.

I recall many quiet inside moments of Christmas over the years. In 1977, I found myself celebrating Christmas by myself for the first time in my life. I was a foreign student living with a Japanese family in the small town of Iwamizawa. On Christmas eve, I left the house alone after dark and began walking on the snow packed streets on a quiet, peaceful beautiful night with stars twinkling in the sky. I pondered many things and reflected upon the first Christmas night. It gave me a chance to think about my family and those things on the inside that make Christmas so special.

I recall another busy, hectic day about a week before Christmas when I was overwhelmed with Christmas chore minutia. I left home on a snowy, cold evening to begin my last whirlwind shopping binge when suddenly the power went out across the city. With the stores closed, I returned home, flipped the switch on the fireplace in my bedroom, lay down on the floor and stared into the beautiful flickering flame. I took a big breath and sighed. My world slowed to a beautiful halt. I enjoyed a calm, meaningful evening in the dark, still silence.

As a friend so poignantly stated, Christmas is a time of letting in. The malls and shopping centers let us in early and welcome us to stay late. Two thousand years ago, a young family found themselves in the cold because no one would let them in.

This Christmas I plan to take those few special moments to let in or get inside of Christmas. It helps me to align my perspective with gratitude and humbleness and to be my better self. I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas season both inside and out. . . "and as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!"

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Why I Love Music

Saturday, two weeks ago, was a very fun music day. First, I accompanied for Kids Are Music children's choir at the Newgate Mall as they ushered in Santa who received keys to open the new Peppermint Depot.

An hour later, I accompanied Kevin Shumway, a cellist with the Utah Symphony at a Youth Guild luncheon. He performed several numbers and spoke to 50 plus teens about his love of music. I agree with so many things that he said. Any kind of music that moves you or makes you happy inside is good. Music has the ability to take you to a different place, out of the world, out of the daily grind. It releases your mind and perhaps gets you thinking about many other things. These things could be nostalgic, energizing, pleasant, suspicious,wondering,inspiring, irritating, etc.

Much of my life has been immersed in music. My mom spent hours with me on the piano bench, encouraging me to develop a talent and to find the joy that music can bring to the soul.

When I was about sixteen, I heard my second cousin, Ann Christensen play the piano while visiting my grandma. She had recently won the Utah State Fair piano competition, soloed with Salute to Youth, and won a piano competition in Texas. I was blown away with her playing. After hearing her, I developed an insatiable appetite to get serious about the piano. After taking piano lessons for much of my life with great teachers such as Frederick Dixon and Carol Hurst, I began lessons with Anne's teacher, Gladys Gladstone, and had an incredible journey over the next few years.

Gladys insisted on absolute perfection in playing anything, be it Bach preludes and fugues, Beethoven sonatas, or Chopin scherzos. She was able to pull incredible emotions somewhere from deep inside to make the music come alive. Beyond technique, she emphasized the importance of mental focus and total concentration. She taught me to sculpt various passages like a strand of pearls, from small to large and back. She insisted on practice with a metronome to strike every note in a run with exact precision. She had me paint pictures in my mind to create the proper mood and setting of each piece. Her wonderful teaching guided me to experience the thrill of soloing with a symphony and the great satisfaction of creating beautiful music on stage with wonderful orchestras including the Utah Symphony, the Great American Symphony, Utah Youth Symphony and the University of Utah Chamber Orchestra.

Many benefits have spilled over into my life from studying a musical instrument. Things such as staying focused and pursuing perfection, or at least striving for excellence. Practice does not make perfect, but rather PERFECT practice makes perfect.

Good, better, best
Never let it rest
'Til your good is better
And your better is best! - Unknown

Music lessons taught me the importance of consistency - practicing daily even when it wasn't convenient. And knowing a piece so well that you could play it at any time, be it 5:30 a.m. or 8 p.m. at night. It is important to set a standard for yourself and keep that standard. Hacking through something on a public stage does not promote self confidence or self esteem. But being well prepared and performing to the best of your abilities does. There is great joy in working hard at something, mastering it and overcoming fears with dogged persistence. You can trick your mind into believing in yourself. Sometimes I was very scared or nervous to play or speak before an audience. But a wise mother told me that, "audiences really inspire you." I took that to heart and learned to overcome fear by changing my attitude and mind set.

Music allows me to enter a realm that expands my mind and emotions. I can enter a very happy place that is indescribable. One time, Jordon Tang, a doctoral student at the U. of U., asked me to play the piano part of Aaron Copeland's Appalachian Spring with a chamber orchestra. I fell in love with that piece and introduced it to my children. One of my greatest mother moments was when Chase was listening to this piece while showering and he burst out of the bathroom door screaming, "I LOVE that music!" He, too, discovered the great secret of Appalachian Spring!

Suffice it to say that music has brought great joy and happiness into my life. I feel very blessed to have many music opportunities. I love watching and listening to the Utah Symphony. What a spectacle to see fifty plus musicians playing their instruments in sync on the same beat with the conductor, using incredible technique, precision, and passion. They magically transform black and white notes on a page to beautiful music. Wow. That is amazing! Really! Or hearing fifty five kids in Choral Edition focusing on Janette Bischoff's masterful directing in creating beautiful sound, or eighty kids in Kids Are Music. Or watching a bit of joy or even tears of nostalgia on the faces of the elderly as the Heartbeats perform Christmas music, evoking memories of a bygone era.

It is so true that, "Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." William Congreve (This really is the quote, not "beast" as is often misquoted). It is a powerful source for both good and bad. But when used to edify, it is inspirational, pleasurable and lovely!

Good music and great harmonies. What could be better! Did I mention that before? I am excited for this Christmas season and the beautiful music that accompanies it. The accessibility of music favorites on iTunes,iPods, iPads, Pandora, CD's, tapes, records, and the radio is astounding. In fact, right now I am going to listen to Pandora over my TV system while I clean my house. And it will make me happy!

And by the way, does anyone have extra tickets to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert this year? I would be so obliged! And happy, to say the least!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

RIP, ReNon.

This morning as I, along with many others prepare to attend ReNon Zabriskie's funeral, I can't help but say, "Thanks, ReNon, for being such a beautiful, helpful, wonderful person." ReNon was the kind of person who uplifted all those around her. She was helpful, thoughtful, service-oriented, capable, spiritual, delightful and wonderful. When the Weber Heights Stake and Ogden East Stake were divided some seven years ago, she was one of the very first people who introduced herself to me. We worked together on Youth Extravaganzas, The Messiah, Ogden High School musicals, etc. When working with various committees to set something up, inevitably ReNon's name would pop up as the person to call.

Last night at her viewing, I wrote down a few quotes from the display tables that portrayed her life. They express my sentiments as well.

"When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure."

"Every time that a child is born, so is a grandmother."

Cancer is so limited.
It cannot destroy love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot destroy people.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot suppress memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot steal eternal life.
It cannot conquer the Spirit.

As I prepare to say farewell to ReNon, I hope she knows what a bright light she was in my life. I send my condolences and love to the family. And ReNon, may you rest in peace.

Desert Star Playhouse

Tucked away on Main Street in Murray is the delightful Desert Star Playhouse, complete with a fabulous melodrama piano player. I enjoyed a wonderful evening full of laughter and fun while dining and watching, "Hunk-cules" who really acted as though he was too sexy for his toga. I must say that I would love to play the piano for their productions! What a hoot.

This year's productions included:
Back from the Future (What happens in 1985 stays in 1985)
Beverly Hillbillies 90210 (You might be a redneck if ...)
Sheer-Luck Homes (Clueless again)
Goldilocks Capone and the 3 Amigos
Hunk-cules (I'm too sexy for my toga) ...through Sept 24
Legally Brunette (Not all dumbs are blonde) ...Sept. 29-Nov. 12
It's a Wonderful Life (Winging in the holidays) ...Nov. 17-Dec. 31

And next year's productions will include:
CSI:Provo (Decaffeinated DNA)
The Princess Brides Maid
The Addams Family Home Evening
Wicked - er!
My Big Fat Utah Christmas (a new holiday comedy)

Trust me - I don't work for Desert Star (yet) and I am not being paid for this promotion. I simply had a very fun, entertaining evening laughing and smiling while watching their production. Yes, I will be back! General sales for season tickets open September 13. Box Office hours are Monday through Saturday, 10am - 9pm, 4861 S State Street, Murray, Utah 84107, 801-266-2600 or go to www. DesertStar.biz.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Great Outdoors


Mark and I just completed our second pioneer trek last week, the first being four years ago. It is extremely satisfying to see 130 plus teenagers trek over 32 miles on the original Mormon/Oregon trail in the vast expanses of Wyoming. Some of these kids are athletes in their own right, but many have never spent time in the great outdoors to really enjoy and appreciate what life has to offer.
I think everyone felt a great sense of accomplishment in being able to complete something hard,and gaining a better understanding of those ancestors who came across the plains trekking over 1300 miles in adverse conditions with little food and inadequate clothing.

Thirty years ago, from July 7 to August 7, 1981, I spent a month around the Escalante and Boulder Mountain areas of Utah with 32 people from across the United States. We were participants of the Boulder Outdoor Survival School (BOSS) hiking over 250 miles in the beautiful, great outdoors. It was an incredible, strenuous, character building adventure that I have reflected upon throughout my life.

We traveled from elevations of 5000 to 11,000 feet with temperatures ranging from freezing to 110 degrees. Four of us were from Utah, four from Texas, three from New Mexico, nine from California, two from Pennsylvania, Ohio and Idaho, and one from New York, Colorado, Oregon, Toronto, Michigan, and Wisconsin. Twelve of us were females, 20 were males. I learned many life lessons that month. In a nutshell, I learned that family is extremely important, that the human body is truly amazing, and that there is a God in heaven who loves us, helps us, and watches over us if we will but recognize Him.

"Those who say it can't be done are usually interrupted by those doing it."

Days 1-3, Impact

The first three days were called, "Impact". We had no food, no blankets, canteens,or ponchos. We had only the clothes we were wearing, a jacket, thermos, stocking cap, gloves, plastic bag, long sleeve shirt, bandana, socks and a small first aid kit. The first day was rainy and cold as we trudged through and drank water from the river, filling up an empty can and straining the sand out with a bandana over the top. A couple hours were spent on a blind walk with our eyes blindfolded with a bandana. The idea was to get an increased awareness of one's footing and to learn to trust others in the group. We quickly trained our ears to listen carefully to the sound of feet from the person ahead. It was freezing that first night as we tried to stay warm by huddling together as a group and sapping away someone else's body heat.

If you thought you were hungry today, just wait until tomorrow..

The second day, we hiked from morning till night in blazing hot heat. The only break was jumping into the river, boots and all to try and cool off. We had sore legs, blistered feet, and empty stomachs. On the third day, we hiked and hiked till early evening when we finally reached our base camp. We celebrated that night with a banana and Gatorade. My stomach felt so full I could barely finish off the banana. But I began an appreciation for simple things, like food, a blanket to sleep on and clean water. My base camp bag I had packed was delivered to me that evening so I could change into clean clothes and socks. Whew.

The goal of impact was to gain control of attitude, appetite, and physical condition. I found a lot of strength after completing these three days.

Day 4
Day 4 was Sunday, a day of relaxation and rest; a day to contemplate and write in my journal.

I began to realize how many luxuries I had in life and how many things I took for granted every single day. The strength of the human body is amazing and the will is supreme. The things you tell your mind determine what you can do and accomplish.

"It isn't the mountains that wear you out, it is the grain of sand in your shoe."

Days 5-9, Group Expedition

The guys and gals were split up for the group expedition. Survival was very enjoyable to this point. I did not feel hungry or tired until the end of the week. We did lots of steep hiking and elevation climbs using topo maps to navigate. Day nine had a 25 mile individual hike which began around 6 p.m.and traversed along dirt roads and trails marked with green glow sticks.

Being alone in the beauty of nature lends itself to much inner reflection and I began to ponder many things in my life. Little things popped up as I moved along, bringing a flood of memories to the forefront. It was a spiritual experience. I couldn't help but think of the myriad of feelings and emotions that are recorded somewhere in the folds and creases of our brains.

I thought about the importance of a good childhood, the joy of great memories with my family, and the enrichment of wonderful, good, positive relationships. I pondered the significant role that music has played in my life. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my mom and dad.

During the hike, rain broke out and the road and paths turned to clay which stuck to the soles of my shoes. And I mean really stuck. As the night descended, I couldn't see the trail because of weather and bad eyes (no contacts or glasses) and I got concerned. I was alone in a black, wet, rainy, cold forest in an unknown place with no map. One wrong turn could spell disaster.

Just because it is a well beaten road is no sign it is the right one.


Fortunately, two guys from our group joined up with me from behind and together we found the way. We arrived at our destination around midnight. The last of our group came in around 4:00 a.m. I was dog tired and really hungry for the first time.

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. Shakespeare

Only 19 days left.



Day 10, Sunday, July 19
Sunday was another day of rest. I needed it.

Breakfast fare was oatmeal and ash cakes made with flour, water and ashes from the fire for leavening. Most everyone took a cool stream bath in 44 degree water. Aahhh, it felt terrific.

Once again I began thinking about values of family, marriage, children, etc. I felt a deep yearning to work on my spiritual side, to learn and study about the great creator and our purpose here on this earthy sojourn. We had a sacrament meeting with a few of us who were LDS. The sacrament was passed using ash cake and a canteen of water. It felt good to renew my covenants with Christ once again and pay homage to the Creator in such a primitive setting.

Day 11 to 16, Survival Week, July 20-25
Day 11 began with killing a big sheep which was then skinned, hung on a tree, quartered and divided into parts among five stations. The idea was to realize the significance that this animal sacrificed its life for our survival. I developed almost a reverence and greater appreciation for all meat in general.

In the five stations we:
1. Tanned the hide;
2. Made sweet bread dough to cook in the stomach;
3. Made sausage with the small and large intestines;
4. Learned how to cook meat in a pit; and
5. Made jerky by smoking the meat over a willow tripod.

We dug a big pit by the stream, lined it with branches, placed the meat inside, covered it with a damp, cool towel and put fresh, wet willows over the top. We also made a steam pit by lining a large hole with rocks. A fire was lit on the rocks which made ashes in the cracks. The fire burned through the night and the next morning, we put in the meat, covered it with hot rocks and grass and let it steam throughout the day.

I was really fatigued and ready for some good protein. The meal tasted soooo good. We added carrots, onions, potatoes and the like to round out the meal. The jerky was divided up to eat at future times.

Friday, July 24th rolled in and I was quite done with survival. I was glad to have come on this "trip" but I also wished it was finished. It reminded me of the year I spent in Japan (age 20), teaching English at a private Buddhist University. I was really glad I came, I didn't want to quit, but I sure wished I were home.


Comfort is not essential to survival, and is often valued too highly. You must value your life more than comfort and be willing to tolerate heat, hunger, dirt, itching, pain and almost any discomfort. If you expose yourself to self-pity because you have a blister and think you can't walk another mile, you have not thought the situation through.

As my mind pondered the 24th of July, my thoughts went to my pioneer ancestors and the sacrifices they went through, all because of their great faith in believing in the gospel of Jesus Christ and their undying hope for a brighter future in "Zion". Great sacrifices were made to come west. My ancestors began their long journeys in England and Denmark, embarking upon a long sea voyage across the big blue before their weeks of traveling westward.

I had completed two weeks of my survival course and could hardly wait for the next two to pass. I dreamed of the things I would do upon my arrival at home. They included:
1. Take a bath and shave my legs.
2. Wash my hair.
3. Lotion my skin.
4. Clean and clip my fingernails and toenails.
5. Brush and floss my teeth.

Pretty shallow compared to what the pioneers would be doing upon entering the valley. They had to concern themselves with building a home, planting a garden, gathering wood for fires to keep warm during the winter months, setting up schools for the children, making clothes, basic survival and keeping their faith and beliefs strong.

To break up the routine, we decided to have our own Christmas in the desert. We drew names and had a couple days to come up with some type of homemade gift for that person.

"Christmas" arrived on Sunday, July 26th and was really fun. We held sacrament meeting and enjoyed a really great meal of chicken stew complete with carrots, potatoes, cabbage and TVP, and sides of ash cakes with honey and watermelon for dessert. The watermelon was undescribably good!

We then began the gift exchange. I drew Susan Arthur's name and made a wooden pendant for her from a cross piece I cut from a branch. I carved out her name on the face along with a fern design and made a willow chain to hang it on along with a set of willow chopsticks. It turned out pretty cute!


Mary drew my name and gave me the carved log (above) which still sits on my bookshelf today. Although I don't recall any of the other gifts that were exchanged, I remember how clever people were.

Let us cherish the bread before there is none, discover each other before we leave, and enjoy each other for what we are while we have time.

Student Expedition, July 27-30
The most strenuous and dangerous part of my survival experience began with the Student Expedition. We were divided into small groups of 4-5 people each and given a destination, a set of Topo maps, and a destination spot to meet at the end of the week on Friday. I ended up with a group of four, excellent, very fit runners, Tami, Sue, Casey and Carolyn.


All day Monday we bushwhacked down a mountain, hit Stair Canyon and hiked many miles at a fast pace. I was hot and exhausted, having never worked so hard physically in my life. When we finally sat down to rest and I kept blacking out and literally could not see anything but black. After a bit I could see, but my vision was blurry, my head was spinning, and my pack felt like it was crushing my back and stomach. We traveled on for several more miles when I nearly fell down to my knees from exhaustion. I could hardly breath. Panic ran through me because I knew there was no way I could continue at that pace, but there was no way out. Finally, the four girls sat me down, made me drink lots of water, eat some raisins and just relax. I was so sick to my stomach I thought I was going to die. I began to feel a little better and so we continued on a few more miles. There was no other choice! I remember watching Sue directly in front of me, and literally followed her footsteps, one by one. My left knee went out of kilt and started aching every time I bent it. I started praying hard because I was a mess!

We stopped in Water Canyon, the first place with water in the Gulch and camped for the night. We cooked some stew with bullion for dinner. The evening was beautiful with endless stars sparkling all night long. In the morning, we ate cornmeal mush with powdered milk and some ash cakes with raisins and honey. I felt 100% better.

Coming together is a beginning.
Keeping together is progress.
Working together is success.


We began hiking at dawn and hit the trail hard. Although I felt better physically, my knee was really hurting. I started praying pretty earnestly for a miracle. We had days and miles to go before reaching our destination on Friday. With the state of my knee, I honestly didn't know how I could do it.


We were instructed to leave a note at a cairn by a cabin. As we hiked down to the cabin, low and behold we ran into another group of girls from our expedition. I felt so much elation because this group was given the shortest, easiest route for the week. What a tender mercy and an answer to prayer. I switched groups and was so glad I did, because for that day and the rest of survival, my knee had so much pain I could hardly bend my leg. This group had one "problem child" who was young, (16), immature, and a bit heavy and out of shape. I had no problem keeping up with them even with my painful knee. Their route, however, was not easy. We spent hours bushwhacking down Deer Creek with willows smacking our faces, twisted ankles on mossy rocks, steep inclines, heat, aching joints, and a hurt knee. Everyone was so mad at "problem child" and so fatigued, they were about ready to kill each other. Finally, around 5:00 p.m., we decided to stop and camp. We made dinner, went skinny dipping, washed our clothes and hung them up to dry, gave foot massages (thank you, Susan!) and had a great time.


In the morning, we slept in, cooked breakfast, went skinny dipping again, rinsed our hair and felt terrific! I even cleaned my fingernails. It was the cleanest I had been the whole trip. We hiked down Deer Creek , hit the Escalante, hiked a few miles upstream, and continued throughout the week. Just before Friday, we met up with Tami, Sue Casey and Carolyn!

Casey pulled a groin muscle so they cut off part of their route. They said their route was brutal, extremely hard and not much fun. I was soooo glad I was able to switch groups.

It's a hurting day Lord! A good day for learning. No man knows how much he can endure until he must. Richard L. Evans

Solo Week, July 30-August 5
Alone is good company.

Everyone was separated and given a cave or designated area to spend the last week alone. No hiking, no navigating, just surviving alone in a small area. Solo week was wonderful and worth every minute of pain, hunger, or frustration.

We were given food for the week consisting of:
2-3 cups of flour,
2 cups of rice,
3 carrots,
1/2 onion,
1 potato,
3 cups oatmeal,
2 cups powdered milk,
raisins,
10 honey packets,
dried soy beans,
TVP and
10 bullion cubes.

I arranged my cave into the kitchen and sleeping areas. The kitchen had a small fire pit, fire wood, all my food, a small and large billy can, juniper bark, char cloth, flint, a steal knife and two wooden spoons that I made.
The sleeping area had my poncho as a ground cloth, my wool blanket, night clothes (thermos, sweatshirt, hat, wool socks, jacket), books, comb, personal supplies, etc.

All went well with one snafu. In the middle of the pitch, black night, something started rustling the food in my "kitchen." I couldn't see what it was so I hid my head under the covers, hoping not to be attacked by a mountain lion, badger, skunk,or some other wild thing.

The next day, I discovered that something had eaten all my raisins but one and feasted on the flour and oatmeal. Later on, a big huge rat or ground hog ran into my cave and ran straight for the food. I hurled some big rocks at it which scared it away and lit a fire. I kept the fire alive from then on and had no more trouble with animals.

The rest of the week was glorious. I read The Holocaust, Man Search for Meaning, scriptures, wrote in my journal, etc. I had lots of time to write down goals, evaluate my experience, and proceed forward with a new frame of mind.

Please do not pierce the boundaries of my hearing. Today I wish to remain in the depths of silence. Silence is golden and within its boundaries are great works achieved. Brad Q. Ottley

The Conclusion

Solo week ended with a reunion of the group, more hiking, a fun repel off a mountain, dinner, a bit of sleep, and waking up at 3:00 a.m for a final fifteen mile run to the bus to go home. No more sand, dirt, bugs, ants, mosquitoes, flies, rations, rats, etc.


Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions. Oliver Wendell Holmes

Some Final Thoughts

I discovered many things about myself and life during this survival experience.

What appears to be the end may really be a new beginning.

I learned much about gratitude and attitude. I learned about who I am. I learned to have faith in Heavenly Father and rediscovered the importance of family, relationships, small kindnesses. I learned the value of simple things. Shannon was the most giving, helpful person in our group. If there was only a bit of food or a small pothole of water, she would share or give up her portion to someone else. Even when we were all dog tired, she would work hard to collect firewood and start the fire at night.

I learned how great the great outdoors is, how it is to be respected, how good it feels to be physically fit and to eat nutritious food, to have a controlled appetite, to have discipline over our attitude, the importance of a journal, and most importantly, to rely on the Lord.

Thirty years later, I reflect upon this experience as one of the most meaningful things I have done. In that light, I give thanks to my pioneer ancestors who were steadfast and faithful in their beliefs and desires in making all the difference in my life as well.

Happy July 24th!